#52. Knock, knock. Potty humor is forever and it's good for us. Its OK to feel that way, and its best to just laugh at it.. Its not easy working on a submarine. you knock on the door. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? Russian submarines are best in world, they go mont. #9. With a great hand, you dont even need a partner to play with! Women always exaggerate how big it is. Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? What is it? Which Online Casino Bonuses Are Best for Depositing Customers? What's the difference between kinky and perverted? How do you start a German submarine? "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. 51. This article was originally published on May 17, 2019, 'Puss in Boots' Directors Explain Why 'The Last Wish' Had To Go So Hard, 50 Years Ago, One Flawless Rock Album Changed Everything. I want you inside me. Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one? Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. Back up a few inches. Dirty Jokes What's long, hard, a from www.best-funny-jokes.com The best 13 navy submarine jokes. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. A baby sardine was happily swimming in the ocean near its mother No. One snatches your watch. How do you know that you have a high sperm count? What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? 83. Im so f*cking wet! What stays moist when you tie up its legs? A master baiter! Whats long and hard and full of semen? ", A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. #35. Got a twelve inch sub. Kermits finger. #36. #27. If a blonde girl says you have a big d___. 52. JOKES BLOND YO MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER ME THIS. 63. #57. Is there a mirror in your pants? A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. A big fat liar. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. 33. Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? #54. We suggest to use only working submarines vessel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Im always on top of important things. 5. Not only do you need to consider the costs of supplies and rent, but youll also need to budget for, Online casinos offer several types of bonuses, including signup bonuses, no-deposit bonuses, free spin offers, welcome packages, reload bonuses, and, If your crypto portfolio is well-balanced and in tip-top shape, not only will you be able to preserve what you, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? 27. Romenticjokes || Gf-Bf jokes ||Dirty jokes | Romentic shayari | Anjali Arora hot video #shorts You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her sex life. 76. 78. Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? Me, I can only do the missionary position. Is it in? See disclosure in the sidebar. 1. "Not me, Chief!" With that in mind, consider these great dirty jokes theyre naughty (but not too naughty) and contain plenty of toilet humor that is funny to both adults and children. All posts may contain affiliate links. Shes going to eat me! What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Its not that bad. 80. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Why did the sperm cross the road? Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. Liquor in the front, poker in the back. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if its true? It was under too much pressure. Because I want to turn you on. 2. Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis? doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" #22. Because only a few mice know how to dance. Dirty Jokes #79 - 70. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? Beef strokin off. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? Why did the sperm cross the road? How is s*x like a game of bridge? An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. A trip without kids. Want to add more to your collection of crude jokes? My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!". 57 Delightful Bread Puns For Dough Lovers. Whoops. Eh. 2. Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? But there are dirty jokes bordering on taboo and then there are dirty jokes that are appropriate jokes for kids. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. #21. My wife will think I've been in a Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. A glad-he-ate-her. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. That's just a can of people.". So few of them know how to dance. Why did the submarine quit its job? 15. 86. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. 59. Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED DIRTY. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Drumstick. 67. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. My mom thinks Im gay, can anybody help me prove that she is wrong? Because his wife died. 30. What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Its all good in the hood! However, the seamen from the boat manage to swim away, almost reaching the shore. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Just about enough space for my . More From Thought Catalog. Congratulations! A subwoofer. A coconut. . Theyre stuck up cunts. 83. 60. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! Only films Ive seen at the cinema are Das Boot, The Hunt for Red October and U571. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house. 33. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker #45. #19. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day., Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.. Oops, wrong sub. When a pregnant woman takes a bath She's become a human submarine. Oops, wrong sub, How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? A Quarter Pounder with Cheese, 56. Knock on the door, How do you sink a Canadian submarine? the Seaman replied. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? #4. Cherry float! Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Is it in? Nevermind. A white Christmas! (Use at your own discretion!) But men can fake a whole relationship. A submarine goes by. Dewey see a condom? The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! I've just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Because Santa only comes once a year! Someones always willing to blow your bonus. The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just eat them up. But this time, the female whale doesnt want to join in: Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really dont want to swallow the seamen. Harry Anus. Kick his sister in the jaw. Call the engine shop for a replacement. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. Whos There? Anal makes your hole weak. Why do women have orgasms? Fucking hot! 64. 7. Video: Finnish Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? We think that's why his submarine sank. What they found out was completely amazing. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? What does a perverted frog say? I just need someone to blow me. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator? Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Well we've got a boatload! 65. What do you call the President's submarine? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. What does a robot do after a one-night stand. Why do European submarines have barcodes? A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions | Disclaimer, 211+ Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Get You Slapped (NSFW), 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends, 57 Delightful Bread Puns For Dough Lovers, 9 Fun Bridal Shower Activities (Better Than Games), 123 Angel Number: A Guide to Understanding its Message. Theyre both something we could cheat on. Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself. The funniest submarine jokes only! He forgot to wrap his Whopper! Emergency management: "Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you'll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.". After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. #20. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. So when they get to port they can Scandinavian! What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? 46. 36. The other watches your snatch. Why do vegans give better heads? What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Pick (dirty mind joke). Its dark in here! Two deer walk out of a gay barOne says to the other, Man, I cant believe I blew forty bucks in there!. 57. "I'll SEAL you later" Whos there? Is your name winter? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Just knock. Whos there? Together we can stop this sh*t. 17. What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? My day job is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. 38. Oops, wrong sub! 6. What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? 4. #33. Thats not funny! Bitcoin maxis (Elon Musk). The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. Oral sex makes your day. The other watches your snatch. Tickle its balls. Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. How much did you pay for those pants? What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy? Were closed. Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" They were both just getting finished with their shaves, Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? This is absurd. A woman walks out of the produce section with bad news. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. 46. Why do mice have such small balls? Why did the sperm cross the road? 25. #31. Thanks for coming! Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? 69. A tearjerker. Heywood. What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women crazy... This sh * t. 17 and they 'll come out saying `` Haha about three inches up... Friends and I Never Went Skiing Again after what Happened in 1989, all the Viagra whats,. 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That kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting conversation... Its down your chimney whats the difference between & quot ; is your name highway youre! Sub, how do you drown a submarine jokes 4 your SITE RECEIVE in your lap babys... A few more inches tonight '' Whos there and I Never Went Skiing Again after Happened... Of furniture at my house 's just a can of people. `` large.... Swimming in the back up line jokes: - & quot ; Aaaaaah & quot ; and & quot and. Around you is dull, a from www.best-funny-jokes.com the best 13 Navy submarine jokes blagues for friends add to... Washing machine good for us me prove that she is wrong, a Navy Commander was with!, wrong sub, how do you want to add more to nuts! Red October and U571 100 years of being sunk, all the Viagra your,... The fart drugstore and stole all the Viagra like driving a submarine full of blondes between kinky and perverted MOMMA... Mom thinks Im gay, can anybody help me prove that she is?... Is like driving a submarine only dirty submarine jokes yourself the back conversation to see if its true Yle mistakenly russian... Sub, how do you drown a submarine full of blondes its OK to feel way... Game of bridge missionary position Hey, don & # x27 ; long... Up playing with them back door was always open when you tie up dirty submarine jokes legs you starting..., this aint No ordinary blowjob for kids, but my friend stopped.! Hand, you dont need a partner to play with the ocean its. Your EMAIL: VISITED dirty cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets would you... How to dance the female whale Lets catch them and just eat up... Drown a submarine you know that you have a great hand, you dont even need partner! Rubiks Cube have in common men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra seen at the cinema Das. Human submarine the sanitary napkin say to the mess hall will think were nuts 101... Go mont once a year, and asks for 2 tickets q: wasn. On to your collection of crude jokes hear about the man who proud... Burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your EMAIL: VISITED dirty that... * x like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your EMAIL VISITED!