You should know that the pain of not having my father there for me has made me a stronger woman. have been really hard. I said I think I hate you. Until another day when it would start over again. They just sit there beside you when you have had a rough day and lean over to give you a little lick on the hand just to let you know they are there. Now I have a good job and College Degree it is to late for me to take them now they are all grown up and they resent me. Did you spell check your submission? I never heard from her, not so much as a single letter or phone call. She said shed be back but never returned. Watching what you did would bring some humanity to my pain, but you wanted to leave me with nothing. Then we moved into a AAA house we got going then my mom leaves again I keep the family alive by stealing food and any thing that was worth money I got so good I walked out of stores with 1000$ (not happy about that) of stuff. When I was old enough to stay home on my own she was never around, always at work or partying. No child will understand why mommy or daddy didnt love them enough to stay. After years of self-harm and time spent in therapy trying to heal, I had finally gotten to a healthy place. I was broken when she left, as she was a very attentive mother. you have to prove I am 35 years old have 2 kids and love them to bits.. spend my life trying not to be my mom. Parents: Do what you can to understand the situation and make things right. I don't think I'll ever get over it. LaKandace Harris, A Lost Promise By It's painful for someone to go through such a life experience. You can find even more stories on our Home page. hides behind this smile. My brother and sister and I grew up with out are mother and fathers. I know there are hundreds of reasons why people leave every day and maybe some of them are justified. When I have my own house, I plan to own as many dogs as my home will allow me to fit. She chose to be on drugs and go through several different men. Every night I think That isn't new information and I'm sure it's hard to read, but just hear me out. I will never respect you. My brothers were 17, 8 & 6 and my sister was 4. I guess you didn't, I've never had the opportunity to heal because I was busy trying to be strong for everyone else. Published: May 17, 2018 . When you get left by a parent, you see their face everywhere. But as a believer in hope, healing, and freedom I hope you know that this door is not nailed shut. I wasn't open to giving her what she wanted. Thanks for this amazing poem it's so touching I forgive you for never being by my side, and for abandoning me without explanation. I dont like this anymore. I know there were those who wondered if my resolve to keep my own mother out of my life might ease upon becoming a mother myself; if holding my first child in my arms might soften some of the anger I still harbored. Mother's child, sorry". I'm 29 now with a young child of my own. Pray for your father. I would watch her cook meth, have sex with guys.. That man didn't. Carolyn Hax. I am the opposite of everyone in my family. Begin writing your letter. By definition, the relationship between the mother and the unloved child isn't one of equals, not even if the daughter is an adult. I was adopted when I was 3 months old, so I have no idea if I have any siblings. And their personalities are completely different. Anyone - mother, father, grandparent - who chooses anything over their children does not deserve to be in your precious lives. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. Now's your time to be strong . Had I stayed with my biological mother, I wouldn't have as many options for life as I do now. I'm also 13 and have tried to commit suicide but you really have to wait it out. You have compromised your entire life just to make mine better! I love this poem!!! I was surprised how deeply I felt about this years later, so I decided to speak with a professional to see if my feelings were common. The . That's how you move on when a parent abandons you: You create your own life for yourself, feel sorry for yourself for a minute, then learn to pity your parent, and move on. We were taken away from her when I was 4, I am now 18 almost 19. Mom, you left me on October 4th, 2015. She never showed up till I was 8, but my family never allowed her to meet me due to what she did. I guess they don't know When I was only 11 and my brother was only 10, I took care of him and my little niece and nephew when my mom went out and did her drugs. 18. You love her enough to want to be better.". She was never really caring in the first place though. I choked. I go dizzy with swirls rages in fright. I maybe dying, but you will always be known as the asshole who abandoned, abused, and neglected your dying wife and step son. To the person reading this who . It rips you up inside. Most of the time I forget that I even have a mum. I was adopted at age two to a woman who thought she couldn't have children. I never got over it when my mum chose that some things were more important than her daughters. In saying those words, in repeating them again and again, in being the mom I always wished I'd had; I've found healing. She lived in Omaha, and now Arizona. People who spend long nights looking up at the ceiling, reliving the moment their world crumbled around them. laugh with their moms, Maybe she will read it and have the smallest of inkling of what she has done to me, however I doubt it very much as she is far too selfish to even acknowledge what she's done and the pain she has caused. Abandonment Quotes. She says she loves us and wants to be with us but all she does is hurt us. The fact that she abandoned me still affects my relationships with others. Katarina. My sister and my mother lived together bouncing all over NYC in lower east side apartments. I will share this poem with my husband and children instead of getting tearful or angry. I tried many times my aunt and father would throw a fit every time I wanted my children back. I was abandoned by my mother when I was only six weeks old, even though I had normal childhood because I grew up with my grandma, the rejection I felt from my parents damaged me more than anything. Thanks for your words. I was born in Haiti, to tell you the truth I don't remember having a mother nor a mom, But I do remember having a dad for a whole, And believe me when I tell you that it was really worthless, anyway to make a long story my mom left me, my dad was a drunk and my mom is a lie, now the curse passes on me. 1. About 4 years later, my real mom turned up again, with no explanation as to why she left. Photo illustration by Sarina Finkelstein; Getty Images (2). My mom ran away when I was barely a year old, she couldn't handle motherhood. Notice I said nearly. My mom has always been in and out of my life. My mom left us when I was 12 my sister was 10 and my brother was 8. Time heals everything; "When that person is trying to have a sense of identity or is interacting with others, they are dealing with a black hole where their mother should be and a really dysfunctional model of love.". I never took breast milk. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University4. I am a child of abandonment. 20. https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-typing-on-type An Open Letter To The Mom Who Abandoned Me, Recalling the Captivating Opening of Oscar-Winner "Whiplash", Life Lessons That I Still Carry On From College by Valerie Gregorio, Why I Am Obsessed With Selena Gomez and You Should Be Too! Depending on whether the root cause of the estrangement is mild or severe, it could take weeks, months, or even years to return to "normal.". Please come back to me, or at . Through the years when I went to school or somewhere public I always saw kids with their mothers, laughing and having a good time. When you get left by a parent, you see their face everywhere. I lost weeks of school my mom taught me how to steal and I started smoking at 12 years old. Thats what hurt me the most. He knows I can surpass everything. 123RF. I read it and I cried all the way through it because this is exactly how I feel. Indifferent, so painful. Have a blast, mommy. My mother was there but she was never a mom. You've made it this far, and you still got a lot of good things coming your way. I don't know why. Her husband is very overbearing and thinks we should just accept him as a family member. So I got a restraining order on him at age 12. I was dependent on their father who after the birth of my son did not want me in his life anymore he was real abusive to me it took me years to get over that abusive relationship but I finally did. I sincerely want to thank you actually. I have called you by name; you are mine. Again the feeling of being alone and lonely is eating my whole system angry is starting and there also a time that I ask God. By Aidan Gardiner. 227,501. My situation couldn't be more different. I stand and fall. In 1347, chroniclers of the Black Death began reporting incidents of mothers, uncles, brothers and wives deserting their plague-stricken relatives and fleeing for their lives. Wow! Full of BS!!!! My parents also had me when they were still in school. He will ALWAYS receive us with open arms. If you are unwilling to provide me the answers I'm searching for, then I'm willing to remain absent from your lives. So my dad would meet her half way so I could spend a weekend with her maybe once a month, usually I just went to her parents house, an hour drive from our house, so I'd at least be part of that family. Who couldnt love dogs? My dad does whatever she says so I know now that I'm not truly welcome, people tell me that I don't know what pain is and to get over it. That Mommy will always be here. She suddenly appears in my life again, I meet her on my 16th birthday. I know there are others like me. Here is an opportunity for you to do something good. you might think are dumb. You abandoned me when you told me I couldn't talk to her. Plus, you'll be compensated by HQ at $10/response for your first 10 articles. I am a mother of five - two sons stay with their father for a week every other week and I talk to them daily because I LOVE them. Right now I'm 15 and I'm not having a baby. I had no choice at the time but to give my daughter to my father and my son was raised by my aunt. I know it hurts when you realize that the person who carried you for nine months doesnt want you, but I do know that deep inside she does love you because she is your mother. I had three older siblings. HA not really; I'll probably sit in bed and watch Netflix all day. Dad is in prison for attempted murder. My mother was a drug addict that had different men in and out of our lives. Which makes sense your parents are supposed to protect you, not destroy you. The rankings are in, and these colleges & universities are the costliest in 2023. Unfortunately with my reentry into your lives, it has affected Ryne, Sever, Brett, and Jenna both negatively and positively. The world becomes a scary and unforgiving place. Either way, I want you to know you have nearly ruined my heart. They stop investing in the marriage, leaving their mate feeling detached and unwanted. I am 53 years old, and after intense therapy I have finally been able to accept that my mother hates me. I hate the simple fact that you took the easy way out. I was raised in foster care, where I was passed around and abused. Mommy will always come back.' Photo Courtesy of Diane de Monteynard. Now Im proving everyone wrong and having a 3.8 GPA and loving life. The copyright of all poems on this website belong to the individual authors. She had five of us, but she had me when she was 15. That means a 4-year cost of $240k or higher, and again not counting room & board, books, etc. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook5. a mother of two, The night that stands out in memory, I was awakened by her tears. 4. Music. We all were split up and went to foster cares. My younger siblings ended up in custody of our grandparents, but I lived on the streets, I was barely a teenager at the time. Thoughts and ruminations about being a working mom, raising two daughters, and being Italian while trying to maintain my sanity and organized closets. Yet it never does so if a mother ever reads this. To My Ex-Husband's New Girlfriend: I'm Sorry . we stayed at our grandparent's hometown. My older brother, he's in jail. I want spring break. It sucks to have a selfish family. it will soon come to regret. What in the world is that supposed to mean?In time I began to realize that my hatred was doing far more damage to me that to the other person. 5. By Adria Giordano Dear daughter, As I write this, I am already crying. I'm almost 17 and I still have flashbacks of that day and this poem explains my feelings so perfectly. My mother never had a rebellious period while she was growing up as a teenager. Used to think I was over her but I don't think I ever will be. So thank you to whoever wrote it, and Mom, if you're reading this, I do love you. Common Mistakes: the word "i" should be capitalized, "u" is not a word, and "im" is spelled "I'm" or "I am". I try to be brave, I wish your young minds understood that even though someone tells you they love you, it doesn't mean they do - LOVE is a verb - it's an action towards someone you can't live without talking to or seeing them on a regular basis. We had a great relationship, never argued or fought. I have two gorgeous young man that don't really want anything to do with me because of my sorry life. People tell me I have a lot to live for but I know they are just trying to be nice because I already know the truth they try to hide so cleverly I have nothing to live for yet I go throughout every day praying something good will happen. I still come back to this poem. I was in the same bed when she got raped. I want to tell you are strong and you deserve beautiful and better life. I knew it would be cold and snowy. Because when you think about it, it is kind of strange how we let animals that still chase other animals, lick themselves, and eat slugs (like my dog) live in our homes and sleep beside us in our beds. BTW she returned 2 years later, at the time I was relieved. When I was 13 years old, my dad took full custody of me. A letter to my estranged daughter. As I now know what it feels to a parent, I would go to the ends of the earth for them and I love the so much I could self combust!! I continually ran away from home to try and escape the abuse, but no one believed me. We were so used to without her around, later on we on we got separated again. This made me cry! 9. 15. Thinking about her gives me eye twitches and makes my eczema flare up. When I was first diagnosed I told my . I'm not so outgoing or confident about myself and my body. Within seconds, the man storms out, slamming the door. Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. Also share this letter with a woman who still has negative feelings towards her dad and she is ready to address her abandonment issues and low self-worth. In some fault-based divorce states, this is known as "willful desertion" and can be cited as a specific ground for divorce. Go figure. What people don't realize is that it happens more often than we think. Theres still healing being done. and crash like a bomb. I went from foster home to foster home. Which makes sense your parents are supposed to protect you, not destroy you. I was left to raise my little brothers and sister. You should know that I lived. Good luck. My mom left me when I was 3, and around the age of 12 she turned up again as if nothing ever happened. And so I stayed up, watching from the hallway, trying to figure out what I would do if she went for that gun. When I was eighteen I tried to build a relationship with my mother but I could tell she was not interested. Abandonment does not take place when a spouse moves out of a family home to create a temporary or permanent separation unless it also includes the refusal to provide any type of support. Your name means "Joyful Spirit" and it fits you to a T. I remember the glorious hours I spent nursing you, rocking you and singing lullabies to you, while you smiled up at me. I had not noticed it until that moment. 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