I cant see a good one, even with close friends. If the CEO simply refuses to pay his share, or you get in trouble for speaking up, another option would be to simply bring your own lunch and not join in with the others when they order lunch. These things dovetail into drama pretty quickly, even with the best of intentions. Im not sure who the comment was directed at, but I think its somewhat presumptive to say someone is pretending to be colorblind or that its somehow NQR to be colorblind. "Two good friends who don't think they would be attracted can accidentally fall into infatuation. They don't just buy it for me AT work. If your new girlfriend starts to behave like your ex, what would you do. In a company of 5 I wouldnt find it at all weird if the CEO approved expenses, here its the managers job no matter how senior. They may have a process you havent heard about. Why dont we try to assume the best in people? I second Square Cash. It wasnt in my job description when I started in Big 4 public accounting, but I did it, as did all junior staff. I refuse to use my phone for banking. Also, overall: Im not going to use a finance transfer system thats based on an app, because I know that the internet security on your phone can easily be much less rigorous than that on your average computer with an average household antivirus. Also, dont ever say cuba or syria as a message for payment. They lock it and takes 1-2 weeks to get it unlocked. True, but since the peak of the boom was in the late 1950s, I think most of them are in at least in their 60s by this point. And this is how much you owe. Didnt help my boss pay up. The following errors occurred with your submission. My boss is sad and surprised Im leaving and would do whatever necessary to keep me, but he also said multiple time, I get it. Yeah it took years to get cards for our company too, Im told! Personally I never went out to lunch with coworkers but if they ordered in or we had a potluck I participated. And in this case we have the person making the least buying the lunch of the person making the most, which is terrible. Everyone places their own individual order (cant blame anyone for messing it up) under their name, and pays from their account with their individual card no need to hound people for payment afterwards. P.S. Making ageist assumptions about your boss or anyone else is going to backfire on you big time. I stand by the rest, though. I had a friend who bought stuff for people. :). Generations span about 20 years on average ;). What good is personality when you're not physically attracted to a woman? Clueless? As a boomer whos FAR more tech-savvy than any of my millenial/GenX/whatever colleagues, thats a really good way to lose all credibility with the people who are, in fact, likely to be your supervisors/bosses/C-level execs for the foreseeable future. My 60+ year old therapist hipped me to Venmo since I usually get my EOBs from my insurance company after our sessions long after said session took place I was walking my payments over to her office during lunch breaks or mailing it, but she was like, No, just Venmo me its easier and she was right. Assume as the junior person you are responsible for following up with the CEO on CEOs obligations, and provide a clear reminder: Hi boss! Otherwise Im stuck with the radio. Whenever I want to settle up with someone my age and tell them I have Venmo, I get this look like thats too much information, I dont care what weird thing you have. All people younger than me = Millenial. Im Gen X and my first thought was that hes just used to stuff being expensed, and doesnt remember that the LW doesnt have the ability to do that on his behalf. A few times, my rich boss wouldnt give me money. That way the timing isnt so weird, youre giving him a polite out, and its a good example of why doing it via cash only is a better plan. Times that by 4 weeks (for 1 month) and youre looking at $200-$400 monthly. Thats what Id do in that scenario. And while not the HUGEST deal, it is an added burden that shouldnt be placed on an employee, especially the lowest ranking and presumably worst paid member of the team and I dont think its contrived to say she cant do it anymore. To be fair, I think you could get a CD/tape deck, but you had to ask for it and it was more $$$. Oh my gosh saaaaaame. They should probably do it every now and then, even if its just for team morale. Agreed. Always pushing the fussy menial work off on people below you just isnt a good look, especially if they have to take on a financial burden. People underestimate the power of infatuation and think they can handle temptation much better than they can. Part of HuffPost News. That statement was just racist and does not belong here. (*And* female.). Rob $17 If you really want to generate good will, you could offer to be available for a phone call or two with your replacement after you leave, but even that is optional. I am an easygoing person, but if someone did this to me without bringing it up politely a few times I would be livid. OOOOOO Send an email with the break down. Its just much easier than having to worry about reimbursing people directly. THIS: You shouldnt put your career on hold until your boss is back. This sort of stuff does happen. (b) Continue nicely resisting and see if you can change his mind. "And if you're reluctant to share anything you do or say with your spouse, even if it seems innocent, you have to ask yourself why. Im an EA and catering/lunches are absolutely part of my regular duties. What does the date under "Hey there I am using Whatsapp" Status mean? Do you think China has been open and transparent on the Covid 19 origins? should I tell the truth in my exit interview? We have used it and it is great. The OPs letter did not identify gender and Alison admits that she usually defaults to female in her replies. I resent our new hires for setting better work-life boundaries than our company normally has, hairy legs at work, my office sent me a random TV, and more, heres an example of a great cover letter with before and after versions, my employee cant handle even mildly negative feedback, my new coworker is putting fake mistakes in my work so she can tell our boss Im bad at my job, insensitive Diversity Day, how to fire someone who refuses to talk to us, and more, weekend open thread February 25-26, 2023, assistant became abusive when she wasnt invited to a meeting, my coworkers dont check on people who are out sick, and more. He sits near you in meetings. Its one of my Top 10 Pet Peeves. You say I cant afford to pay for lunches and ask everyone to prepay. Its really not reasonable to expect the person making the least amount of money to front the expense for everyones meals. I think Alisons advice is good. Because weve changed our communication style at home to accommodate, its spilled over into other areas of life as well. Is it because of the tip? The letter writer asked how do they let the CEO know hes expected to pay. And assuming (and assertively moving toward) good intent allows the crummy people to save face, which means theyll pay you back (or whatever) with much less drama. I hate when people are careless about other peoples money or squirm out of paying (one of my parents is like this). If there was a text like hey, I spotted you for that drink, do you mind Venmoing me? I probably would have complied (even though its strange to charge someone after offering to buy them a drink). This will also make getting money from the boss a bit easier, since itll be made clear that the lunch is being paid for in cash right now vs. by some mysterious lunch fund he presumes exists. Yeah, definitely. Which do you like better: Popsicles or Ice Cream Bars? Ive found that once everyone knows thats how that works they forget that it isnt knowledge that magically appears in the new persons brain. Ask me how I know that this will work. Too complicated. Ive been using it for years and havent had any issues. Since this is an on-going issue, the letter writer can say hey, Im collecting cash up front since I put these meals on my personal card. Weve all had a**hole bosses. It doesnt need to be a big deal, just something like, I wont be able to pay for lunch on my personal card anymore. Susan Healy, a clinical therapist in Pound Ridge, N.Y., has counseled many husbands and wives who've seen their relationships rocked by inappropriate work friendships. Gurl, thats just normal retention behavior, it doesnt mean that your staff ever owe you a free lunch. CEOs operate at a really high level and often avoid the day to day minutiae. This. And your tone. I wouldnt assume that your coworkers are buying the CEOs lunch. 3. I worked as a catch-all project manager but also assistant to the executive of my department for a few years. Sorry, misthreaded this! Plus, you cant get paid that way if Boss doesnt use Venmo. Im also of the older millennial generation, and it took me a while before I got comfortable with Venmo, it felt weird to attach my bank info to it. Or is that an assumption on your part? (I have another sneaking suspicion its because hes a white man who has had a great deal of wealth his entire life.). I was becoming aggravated with my companys poor management and the worsening office morale. If he proves to be a cheap SOB who wont pay for his own food, thats unfortunate but theres no reason to assume thats the case. I would have expensed it just to see what would happen. And its part of why people chicken outthey leap to that possibility as a probability, and then they wont say anything because they fear itll sound like theyre accusing people of being thieves and con artists (which is what that behavior is). I know quite a few people who have lost everything.". Once youve paid for it and and the food is eaten, theres basically no incentive for people to remember to pay you other than moral compunction. She should just say, Sorry, Im no longer able to put these lunches on my personal card. There are plenty of other solutions company card, someone elses personal card, CEOs personal card, gather cash from everyone, petty cash from the office. Its like a little side pocket of available funds in case I need to pay someone else and they only want Venmo. I really dont like how the OP said the CEOs poor behavior was possibly due in part because hes a white man. Thats a really broad and presumptuous generalization. I have considered asking colleagues to get lunch with me when I run out for something, but due to the dynamics of our office and people's schedules, it would not be unusual for only one female coworker to be available to come with me. I just feel weird having to ask my husband to send money on my behalf to people hes not likely to meet. Open the door for someone who knows your boss better to approach him about the subject. I'm interestedshe's not..then ignore herwhy does she want to flirt again? You open your mouth and you say words. The Captivate study also found that the lines between personal and professional can get a little blurry, with 24 percent of those surveyed saying they continue communication on weekends and weeknights. Because I made a mistake based on experience. P.S. Thats step #1. Id act as though I were giving him the benefit of the doubt, for the sake of getting along with him at work, but I wouldnt expect the best. Same. (Eg senior directors approve directors expenses, etc). Im mean I disagree but I suppose if thats how they feel. He promptly paid my invoice and started having someone else with a corporate card place lunch orders. Lunch now that's a peace offering but now dinner that's something else when he ask you out for dinner he definitely likes you and he was being nice buying you lunch and that's sweet but don't assume anything over lunch cause asking someone out to dinner is the real deal and easier way of knowing if he likes you and you should reject it just take turns when he does something nice just be nice back and get him his favorite coffee the next morning for work. !, and had to go, Whoa, no, Y is not at all what is happening, and I would have fixed X in a second if I had known about it. Of course I still fix X (if in fact X was actually an issue and not part of the misperception about Y), but I dont forget that the person jumped to the worst possible conclusion about me and the company, ignoring a whole alphabet of possibilities. If it involves walking around getting everyones order calling it in, walking to pick it up and coming back it could take that long. Yes, to this. If someone asks to you pick up their order from ABC, you respond with Sorry, Im heading to XYZ and need to run an errand on the way. 3. Has anyone ever asked you or told you to put the lunches on your personal credit card? Its not your responsibility to stay on. While this is never ideal, this is especially not ideal because our department is just two people, myself and her. Did they short the tipTHAT is a nightmare Ive heard about. If you would like me to send a bill more often (monthly or per lunch), please let me know. He really may just be completely oblivious and doesnt think about these things. And sometimes having a company card is more of a hassle than its worth. That would normally be the bookkeepers job (and they probably have a bookkeeper, even if its outsourced). They Bring Each Other Coffee. It doesnt sound like its in your job description. I have been working at my company for a couple of years and started job searching a few months ago. The wife started sensing the connection between her husband and the manager when she'd come into the office and was hearing from friends that they had seen the pair together around town. Yes. When we tried Venmo, the person who paid was always short changed at the end of the process. As in, Okay, with your share of the tip, your lunch will be $17. Or immediately afterward, say to him, Joe, yours is $17. Im sorry to hear that you have had them too. Yes, without any additional context, your assumptions might be right, but we have additional context. It does not make sense for the CEO at a pay rate of $400 an hr or a Senior teapot maker at $200 an hour to spend an 30-60 mins ordering lunch when it could be done by an entry teapot analyst at $50 an hr. This is the nuclear option you use as youre walking out the door to a new job. This is not two peers dealing with an issue. Even if hes in the area while yall are talking about it, chances are its not big on his mind. They Give Compliments. There are people of all colors, shapes and sizes that are a$zh0Le$ and conversely that are amazing and wonderful people. Yeah fair, thats the same reason I dont use Lyft anymore (they were the source of said leak, but customer service were utter jerks about it and I wound up having to cancel said card and it took ages to fix). I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but because the office is so small and it seems like there are enough conversations going on that would lead most people to realize they need to pay, I think I would approach this more directly than I would otherwise. Obliviousness is far likelier than some hypothetical thrill. Very high poverty rate, one of nations highest suicide rates, early mortality rates, low access to physical and mental health care, low wages, higher taxes, big meth and opioid problem, etc. No one has mentioned it since. Then hand in your resignation. Probably, being a CEO, he will appreciate your initiative if you approach the conversation respectfully and frame it in terms of your problem-solving abilities. Its entirely possible that he knows its coming out of your pocket, but the chances of that are lower than the other options. I was in this exact situation at work. Wait. I guess my larger point is that even if reimbursed, its still on the OP to manage these charges on her personal card, to do the legwork of chasing people down to get paid back, having to worry about how to approach the boss about his share in an office where many coworkers have felt more comfortable simply paying for him in the past, making change for people, etc. I hate being the lunch getter! Meh, unless lunch is required for a work meeting, I still think its crappy to make the junior staff order it all the time. "How Do You Feel About Me?" She gets his lunch every day and found it was easier to just save the card number, order online, then go and pickup the lunch. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. I dont think its crazier than any other opinion given here. But often times certain peoples time is more valuable than the time of a junior team member. It usually makes people feel uncomfortable. What in the letter makes you think he is entitled? Hes getting a thrill out of it. If youre junior in an office or on a team, getting lunch is just something you might have to do, job description or not. Why, if they are present when multiple frequent conversations are going on about repayment, would you think the CEO doesnt know exactly what is going on? The rest of us either had to be personally reimbursed by the company or use a Senior Persons company card. Follow these rules to make sure lunch meetings are both fun and productive. But then i started to push back on people, saying that I couldnt afford to put the whole amount on my card, so can someone else offer up their card, etc. My comments werent focused on racism, sexism, privilege, colorblindness, etc., but rather the danger of buying into absolutes. Its a complete falsehood that we can guess whats going on in peoples minds, and trying to do so often leads to us treating other people poorly. Bran $32 (you still owe me from last week), I had this come up when I was younger. I know for sure that my boss (who is the CEO as well) would never expect me to pay for his lunch and would be mortified if he found out that I had been doing so while also resenting him for not paying his share. If youre going to steal, make sure youre ready to take the heat. I work in a small office and me and the owner are the only men. Has anyone actually asked him to pay directly? One is 24, and the other is 30. I could murder for a good chicken finger sub right now. I hope for the OPs sake Im wrong. He literally never knew why he was always assigned the first row seat until six months later he commented on it while we were traveling together. The CEO might well and truly be a jackass but there could be other factors as discussed by other commenters. Your lunch bill is $xx for the Oct-Dec lunches, payable to OPs name. To be clear, that doesnt mean things like offering to stay on longer than you want or to take time off from your new job to train your replacement. Take this back and tell them to give me a muffin instead. And he wouldnt give Wakeen the money for a muffin. :). (Same thing goes for sexism.) It could be that your coworker has to look mean all the time because of their job. Amid technology overload, face-to-face interactions are even more important. Of course, when you resign, you should acknowledge that the timing isnt what you would have chosen and offer to do what you can to help make the transition go more smoothly. Whenever you feel bad about the timing, think about all the reasons your company is giving you to want to leave, and think about what they could have done to make those reasons go away. I totally agree. Sucks for them, since their accounting stinks and therefore they have to pre-pay everything. And reason 13423 why I dont split checks but I also dont go out with someone that Im not willing to buy a meal for either. I doubt theres an admin in that small of an office (because otherwise why isnt that person ordering lunch??). Or check? So no, it wouldnt be terrible to resign in the middle of your managers maternity leave. They were trying to do right, but in this specific instance, they really really really shouldnt have. When the boss gives his order can you ask for the corporate card? I would only be leaving for something that was a real progression in my career and/or an excellent organizational fit. Sure, but part of growing professionally is doing things that seem scary. This is what we do. I would actually appreciate a Venmo charge, since it would mean I didnt even have to remember about paying what I owed. Keep your office door open. They'd often stay late after everyone went home to talk about the evening. Darn you Annie Porter, I have not had Jims since I moved out of the area 5 years ago and had forgotten about. Twice I ended up being part of the last three that had to deal with the bill and had to throw in quite a bit of money to settle up. In case youre wondering why Wakeen put up with this, it was because he was afraid of getting fired if he refused. But be prepared for him to just flatly tell you that yes, getting his lunch is part of the job, and that he doesnt think its impacting your ability to do the rest of your work. The next time he places a lunch order, tell him on the spot how much hell owe. It wont help your career. "If you work with someone daily, watching each other's backs, helping each other with the problems of life, I wouldn't say a romantic relationship is inevitable, but it sure is highly probable," Harley said. I dont think there are many situations where sending someone a Venmo charge instead of talking to them at least once is a good idea. Seconding some type of group ordering! Sadly, through more experience than Id like. Ive been in this exact situation. I read this blog almost daily and it is interesting and useful. I could see this happening on the Office and that is the only place it should happen. I realize that most of the folks here tend to be left of center, but Im a little disappointed that Alison didnt call this out. Male and female colleagues can be friends, especially if you're working closely together it's understandable that you'd grab lunch together. And this mindset is why its important that Alison keeps drilling the Gifting flows down not up into everyone. Its not ideal, but its just how things often go, since people generally cant control the timing of a new job offer. I'm sure he is doing the same. And was probably expecting me to follow up. It has nothing to do with age. And if they say my personal card, Well. Why do you have another sneaking suspicion its because hes a white man who has had a great deal of wealth his entire life? I am 56. If she didnt have time to do it, or if other coworkers decided they wanted to eat something else and wanted to know if anyone else was interested, they would send it out it wasnt done by seniority or whos title/job grade was higher. After the meal theres always a conversation, initiated by my colleagues, in which everyone ask me how much they owe. I didn't even know he was married. Thank God its not secured though, holy moly my head exploded. Have another coworker whos always getting caught out in the lunch time rain showers. If youre not comfortable approaching him, maybe go to his Administrative Assistant. Its the most junior employee in the office asking the CEO for cash. Totally agree in the credibility point. Herman replied, but its tradition that the youngest person do it. I shot back, tradition according to whom? as a manager, should I not wear a childless shirt in my off-hours? People fascinate me.). "Work is often so stressful, we need somebody to process things with. But if OPs boss doesnt want to do Venmo, he could.I dont knowgive her cash, each time. I quit going to big get-together dinners with an online group Im a part of because people would leave the amount of money for what they ate, but wouldnt consider tax and tip on a gigantic tab. Not that thats an excuse, but generally when people are brave enough to point it out to them, theyre surprised/shocked/mortified and take immediate steps to fix it. Like he left just as the waitress approached with the bill. You shouldnt put your career on hold until your boss is back. Im not saying the CEO has bad motives, but Ive noticed that some people dont think about the power dynamics involved in these situations until they get pointed out. Therearepeople who would try that, but theyre relatively rare. This was my advice also- ask your colleagues rather than him directly. I would feel embarrassed and bad if this happened to me (Im a boss) or even if this happened with friends when I didnt know I owed. Ive found that this is the unfortunate reality of a lot of Fortune 500 companies or dream job offices where theres a large candidate pool of people who would love to work there. Im feeling very bitter that he is in a position where he doesnt have to think about the cost of a $14 salad, and frustrated that my other (wealthier) colleagues are all willing to eat the cost to avoid asking him to pay. The others may have waved him off previously as well, so hes not aware that when you order, you do expect to be paid. But there are good reasons to not Venmo that doesnt make one a Luddite. WHAT?! It might just take a, Hey, do you happen to have X-amount for lunch from this week and two weeks ago?. I mean, it basically up to the person whether they feel so uncomfortable that they would rather take the financial hardship than speak up. There are people who would try that, but theyre relatively rare, particularly with this kind of power dynamic in play so until and unless he flatly refuses to pay, theres no reason to assume that will happen. HOWEVER: If you just blithely assume that everyone is a well-meaning person who just happened to not realize, then theres your script. Nope- I knew he wanted front of plane aisle seat, and felt it was my job to make sure that happened. He knows how much I make, but how do I gracefully make it clear that he should be expected to reimburse me like everyone else (and ideally, should do so without being prompted)? Please help! Frequent vemno user in 30s here; its totally fine to send a pay request to a friend if youre splitting bills or had a shared dinner and they said oh Ill venmo you my part and forgot to send within a day or two. And the shysters cant really defend themselves. I even caught myself saying 'Love you' to her ending a call a couple times once in front of my wife, but thank God we all found it funny.". You need to speak to one of them or all of them, and say you simply arent going to order lunch anymore until this has been cleared up. This would be a last resort if your office is extremely dysfunctional. This seems a little over the top. This is insane. Because LW is the most junior person there and its stressful and scary to ask someone that senior for money, even if its owed to you? Since you chose to distill my argument to the first couple of sentences, Im not quite sure what you want my response to be. While I also think mentioning the fact that hes always had money is a littlegratuitous, I just cant believe that you dont see the power imbalance and awkwardness here. OP: Hey, boss, lunch was $17, is this cash or reimbursement or what? If he buys you lunch does he like you more than a friend? 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