Boyfriend says I make him uncomfortable. But all the fights that seemed resolved every time he dropped me off at my apartment kept creeping back. If you find yourself in that position, I hope this list helps you the way The Verbally Abusive Relationship helped me: by providing an explanation for your distress other than your own inadequacy. Id tear up and think about how much I loved him and hated to taint our precious time together and thank him for reminding me whats important in life and hug him and apologize for being so petty. Personally, if someone said that to me I wouldn't want to continue with him, but if you really, really like him and want this to work, then you need to let him know that you won't accept this put down. I guess your pointing them out actually made me think that I am uncomfortable with that. Just allow your partner to initiate and go from there, letting your partner know if there's anything you're not OK with. Make the change today and cultivate the love and respect you know you deserve. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Hes so over-committed to our relationship that it stifles me a bit. If someone stumps you with a question, he said, change the subject. Sounds like they want you for themselves or something. Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. Manipulative people do this so you cant expose them. And that was about when I knew our relationship was headed downhill for good. Ive come to the rather upsetting conclusion that my boyfriend is codependent. What would I do? His best friend knows everything about him and he knows everything about her. When we have sex, he always says he loves me, but never says it otherwise. We have a good relationship and a deep emotional connection. My concerns became results of my own pettiness. I still think hes a bit exaggerating. Conversations would start with me believing hed hurt me and end with me apologizing for getting hurt. Dr. Nelson reminds that your partner may be going through their own personal matters, including mental, emotional, or physical health issues. The problem is that he wont own his trauma and he tries to use our relationship and my affection for him as a bandaid to feel good. All Rights Reserved. In his incredible, free video on cultivating healthy relationships. If self-reflection and having a conversation with your partner doesnt resolve the issue, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist. Virgo women can be a bit on the critical side, sometimes that can come across as being controlling. Potential causes and triggers for feeling unwanted may include any of the following: Insecurity Jealousy 1 Loneliness Unhappiness in the relationship Things have grown boring or stale Sexual incompatibility Romantic incompatibility Unresolved trauma Past experiences of feeling unwanted by a partner Click below to listen now. I didnt want to be unsympathetic, so I helped him out. What kind of a person does this to another while pretending to have any interest in or use for them at all???? These are the guys that maybe get you to wondering if you have an invisible second head only they can see. I was starting to see I didnt deserve to feel like an ice queen for asking to split expenses or like I had to compromise my sexual boundaries to make him comfortable. Gas prices are ridiculous these days, Id point out when my friends found his habit of backing out of plans due to insufficient funds inconsiderate. Why dont you think about all of it again and call me only when and if you are very comfortable with me. It stinks having to live with someone you dont want to or dont really know. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Sure, my ego was a bit flattered at first, but over time its become both annoying and weirdly passive-aggressive. You are old enough to be a medical resident, you are far too old for public tantrums. By Amanda Sawyer Written on Nov 01, 2018. Heres what to do if you feel unwanted in your relationship: Could this feeling stem from an insecurity, jealousy, or some other deep rooted issue of your own? When you confront a manipulative person, they will either take a good, hard look at themselves, or they will manipulate you into unseeing the manipulation. How could I be so petty as to resent someone who never yelled at me or physically hurt me, who I loved and wanted more than anything to get along with? I still gaslight myself all the time, but when I catch myself doing this, I try to remember my negative feelings are a sign somethings wrong, not a character flaw. he is 21, works, lives alone but sometimes skips work to play the game. You certainly don't have to adjust yourself to suit anyone else, keeping in mind that learning to gain some calmness in life will only help you but I don't think you should do it to suit someone that's going to judge you for that quality. Thats why when I watched Ruds video on overcoming codependency, it affected me so strongly. Found this article helpful? Manipulative people have sneaky ways of making their partners think their comfort zones dont matter. I know my boyfriend had a hard childhood growing up in a broken home where his mom had a problem with alcohol, and hes struggled with depression, so I understand that he has low self-esteem and some personal issues. If a guy is giving you rude treatment because you're enjoying yourself then he's likely insecure and you shouldn't feel like it reflects on you. It really hurt when he said that, I cried for days while trying to avoid messaging him so he would know what life would be without me. Mad he turned this all around on me. As they started getting worse, a friend encouraged me to end the relationship. Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. Reason #4: They Don't Want To Disappoint Their Friends Or Family Potential causes and triggers for feeling unwanted may include any of the following: Although you may have a tendency to take this personally, sometimes it has more to do with your partner rather than something youre doing or have done. You may interrupt in your excitement and put them off. Taurus ladies know what they like and that's just that. Being around him is never fun. My mother would have been right behind me telling me to get myself out there and show some gratitude. Of course, he doesnt always actually want what I want, but hed never show it. f you were put off by the people you were around in some way, then you may have been really reserved and even bored by those around . Its always up to me as if I am just a queen dispensing order. That's okay it's because of your mercurial and that's a key trait of your star sign. All of those things are simply circumstances that go with the rest of your individual lives. I had stopped taking issue with his actions because I wasnt allowed to, not because I felt better. I dragged myself out of that relationship kicking and screaming, but I havent looked back since. You never read my thesis. Hed said he would later tonight one day in January; it was March. //