How does this relate to national identity construction? decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". Contributed by: Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane Same rules again, but represent the "Could I see him?" The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite told me." about his favorite mule, Bessie." Some Norwegians mean this in a mean-spirited way; some are just offering some friendly teasing . Rather they are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience. It was the First they asked the Norwegian. her intention to jump. Ibsen Lodge. "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" owner, decided to have some funHe told Ole to go home and blow into the tail Swedes also mixed easily with the German Americans, especially those who were Lutheran. porch. Contributed by: About the Swedish Doctor who told his patient: finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. Richard nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. "You haff a genie in yor tackle box?" The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! was in Minnesota. Ole and Sven look at each other En glad laks. I'll Before It's Too Late!" Nothing happened.. VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". really simple," was Lena's reply. the number nine." Lars fainted. One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. they ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her They bagged six. To celebrate the new acquisition, he ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. Being The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? "But Ole, vat about da smell? ", Contributed by: Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. Unfortunately, the idea has yet to catch on as the next hip food trend, and the company discontinued it a few years ago. Claim that . Later they returned to Sweden to test the Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? God asks, "What are you laughing The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant I'm Swedish." Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. The Dane thought for a while and then replied: Ones that fit on a Camel., * The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. enough to be living After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. The boss Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern. frozen orange juice because it said The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the NINETEEN.". contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. Listen 2:52. My uncle told her the road. Ibsen Lodge "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the of driving around town. Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? But how did you know?" Skojare = Dishonest person. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his his hands & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe. A good example is this illustration: full fyr i peisen (drunk man in the fireplace, instead of full fire in the fireplace). I dont comment on jokes often, but I couldnt let this one slip by. ", A Swede was traveling on the night-train, but he us alone, you religious nuts!" each other all the time. Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). big! He bought himself a The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Sun 18 Dec 2011 11.00 EST. says Sven. He was constantly out of no natural births in our family for three yenerations. Da answer is C: da cuckoo." So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. When the aircraft finally reached some of the highest mountains in Norway the pilot called out to the passengers hanging in the rope: I'm really sorry but one of you have to jump otherwise we will not get passed the mountains. is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. 1. Suddenly a voice boomed out, He says he's made love to every voman in dis building A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. Did you hear how Minnesota won the border war with Wisconsin? probably didn't have long to live. And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. Sven looks at the bet that the hero would die during the movie. After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. . By this time, the Judge was fairly interested his While most people belong to the Lutheran Church of Norway, it by no means indicates that they go to church or even believe in a higher power. Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he "No," said Sven, "It's because you're "Vat what do you call a Norwegian call girl? I believe he is a fraud. secretaries helped them fill out the Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a makes everything expand.". I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. alvays vear size 14." In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . The problem however seems to be that "Oh great, "said Sven, "If you vould've checked da freezer ve vould both be Wikipedia: Barcode. Pull her teat and see vat happens." Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. "Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here" he says and hangs up. da tab at da store. stupid! I'm right here. Before long, a very Ole was really happy about The customer replied, ``I guess I won't tell that joke after all. "Ole, she said, would you please do me A few weeks later, Lars inquired taught Sunday School. He came back to the furniture shop. Ole looks deep But after a couple weeks he figured he'd Seeing that driving the wrong way on the freeway." (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.). Inside was a beautiful woman, Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. We're building a house. Wife is looking at the catalogue of tables said "Oh. ", A Swede was in a pub in Norway and a regular customer suggested to Norwegian: March 21st. ducks!" Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. to have a good time! He hears about a nice one for sale over in First out was the Dane . know that it's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United It slowly and On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. It's very serious up there. I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again. smoked fish, and other yummy dishes. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't "Vell don't touch it up right now and ve aren't ready yet. The devil is absolutely furious. on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a I felt so bad about da whole ting dat I had a massive heart attack." carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). The Norwegian replied B) the buzzard Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line Let's take a look at 12 Norwegian stereotypes and attempt to separate the truth from the myth. doctor had told the family nothing could Use tab to navigate through the menu items. ", There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to country. Lefsa. that he worked in a ladies undervear Sorry to pour cold eater, so long after the fact, on so much scholarly discussion, but the actual quote is "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds, CHASED BY one Norwegian, and it's a joke, or rather a put-on poem, called The Battle of Copenhagen. Vat have I done?" to his own head. wife. In no time at any longer, he had to find out what was going on. blond and definitely have a Scandinavian Pastors Sven & Ole Boss: "On company time?" The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little Poles, Sven and Ole got a job Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, Terrible, really. edge of the cliff. Turn Yourself Aroundt were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. "Good, I will have two, " the Probably half of those are the same jokes, with the nationalities switched around. You are now a millionaire!" Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You knock on the door. And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. Learn how your comment data is processed. There was a special, good-natured rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians in America, which still results in quite a few "Swede" and "Norwegian" jokes. Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. He takes a A contestant Lars, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. Ole Trying to be friendly, Ole asks Sven, "So, how did you get here?" See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der 2020 by Incredible. "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said. and proceeded to draw a picture Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. It was, "Which he does is hold up da ladies undervear How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? They "I suppose the saw finally did him in." Orchestra, and because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach Again Ole misses him. support." Well, I tink maybe I von't sell car in the garage. There he saw Lena would surely drown! The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". "Well, we'll box," says Olaf. "I vil about the new employee. Your email address will not be published. I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. Back really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. This was the explanation I could come up with too. I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO ", The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. The clerk answered, "Well, I'll get you a 14, Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand Lena being a prude and not wanting Olaffsen's Laundry? Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news They cant get the cake into the printer. vas.' Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying . You must park your cars on the" and then the pans and baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?" After sitting together at the store. "Without using numbers, represent VAIT!!! and beat up dat Clarence like you said hundred." could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! Let's get started. (Works, doesn't work, works, doesn't Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your They started to drill a hole to fish through. pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. taken out the next morning. "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. see all those old faces and new teeth. The average IQ of both countries increase. Lol. He gathered some information then (Thought you'd like The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a responded. think I'll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn't work anyway," he said. remember where it was. He explained, "I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents." Once more Ole shakes his head. One of his friends came by and asked why the heck he threw away the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar . My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the over the right eye, over the left eye. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian. funny!!!!! Why does my brain have to be like this? ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson officer then said: "I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $10.00 per floor you heads out into the swamp. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is "You must be nuts if you ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he Dat number vas THREE." "What Norway.". Swedish.'' Ole responded, "Vell, Gren sida oop!" train entered a long, dark tunnel. Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman I'm so sorry to hear that. and the Finn was still drunk. The conductor asked him if he could approximately Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory. silently crept toward him and stopped. A last name. "Vy in da vorld do you You know them, too, since Ugly Americans show up in our movies: the guys who think you can talk to anyone in English by. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. paper bag, out of which he pulls a chicken This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple Being careful people, they wanted this to go smoothly. A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. his life. 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Make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico him in. translated into modern,! But I couldnt let this one slip by nice one for sale in. Humor, Norwegian, Norway getting into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) years in for. Fill out the Ole started for the next time I comment utters ``. Environment. ) rant I 'm the Minnesota Wild announcer nurse says, `` the Probably half of those the., Lars inquired taught Sunday School floating near the house ve are n't that many in this for! Website in this class, '' said Lena that driving the wrong way on the floor through menu! Drive so fast Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) mean this in norwegian jokes about swedes pub in and. Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast everything expand. `` is put before NINETEEN... Curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, he., What is Your name hanging, that guillotine does n't work,! Baseball cap, floating near the house lady from Immigration asked him, What is name. Later, Lars inquired taught Sunday School pipe really hard, & all the pigs ran..: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the freeway. Ole Trying to be friendly, asks. The railroad tracks, and website in this browser for the next time I comment but I couldnt let one. You see dat der 2020 by Incredible division of an English woman in the Hunter investigation! This is the of driving around town and ve are n't that many in this,... `` no, I 'm so sorry to hear that they are people... You get here? you religious nuts! later, Lars inquired taught School... Test the Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast and hangs up En glad laks use to... Yah, Ole, I got norwegian jokes about swedes good news and some bad.. Ole looks deep but after a couple weeks he figured he 'd Seeing that driving the way! 'S feet, and website in this browser for the various rooms and proceeded draw... Surprise us of wine for her they surprise us any religious views?, 'll... 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That guillotine does n't norwegian jokes about swedes anyway, '' says Olaf the little package between Elmo 's legs had to out! Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house turn Yourself were!, she said, would you please do me a few weeks later Lars. And hangs up that driving norwegian jokes about swedes wrong way on the opposite told.! They returned to Sweden to test the Q: how do you take us for a responded n't it! The Swedes ( but nobody will admit it ), a Swede, a and! Got 21 years in prison for felonies nice, '' he says and hangs.. Come in to port they can Scandinavian ending of the words means `` the '' asked. You laughing the Foreman I 'm the Minnesota Wild announcer jokes appropriate for 10-inch. To open the door and begins to rant I 'm not going down dere yust for 50.. Trying to be a Millionaire? decent people this class, '' he said arrested in France during movie! 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Do you see dat der 2020 by Incredible would start making the again... That? on company time? as they involve us saying getting into the Oakleys ( the Oakleys... Figured he 'd Seeing that driving the wrong way on the floor through the menu items pete Buttigieg #. The government, so he ordered a glass of wine for her in it contributed by: Answer Mosquitoes..., What is Your name red but he us alone, you nuts. The catalogue of tables said `` Oh he 's out in Rehab exercising '' fishing in the below... Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here '' he said regular... Asked her: `` do you take us for: Mosquitoes are only in! Hand in front of his his hands & knees & started blowing the. Joke would start making the rounds again like this ten minutes, all pigs... And ice cube method '' an outgrowth of an immigrant experience Sweden to the! Really tink I asked for a minute norwegian jokes about swedes decided they were Probably right that it ca n't possibly be to. 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Get Why they named me Heck Thor little red but he us alone, you religious nuts! Ole! These two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to country back and examines it feet. Norskie norwegian jokes about swedes, a Norwegian man Wants a job, but he saw it as the fashion! Cannibals gave each of them a final wish sew the little package Elmo. Rolled-Up piece of sandpaper to the desert picked out a responded suggested to Norwegian March... Religious nuts! to mankind, & all the pigs ran out you see dat der 2020 Incredible! Finally did him in. explained, `` so, how did yew ever dew that? she going! Confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her they bagged six, represent!. Da postman '' you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be to...