A: A KNiFe, Q: Whats wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium? Q: Which famous chemist hit the most home runs? Are you a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you are fine. Along with Vitamin C and Vitamin D . AMC. A: Ive got my ion you. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Q: What do you do with a element seeds? Excited by the prospect of a television drama with chemistry at its heart, Nelson was eager to help. Blowe, 36, wrote in a statement included in the report that she's successfully done the demonstration lighting an accelerant-soaked bill on fire in previous years and for two other classes this year. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. H2O cubed, What is the chemical formula for sea water? -- Tin, What's the first thing a teenager does after school? Q: Why did Bill hate astronomy?A: He thinks black holes suck. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? Person 2: Na, Anyone know any sodium, bromine, or Oxygen jokes? When my wealthy old aunt passed away I got all the antimony! Graduated cylinders are often used in science labs to measure chemicals. What animal do you get when you take out the T, A and I in the word Potassium. Fearing he'll get an "F", he asks a fellow student what she's been doing. He looks at him dead in the eye and yelled, 'You don't know what kind of things I have put up with you little brat!' Check out some more of our favorite clever jokes that make you sound smart. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys. It has been told for many years as a joke, with varying participants: a teacher and students who cut class, a manager and players who show up late for practice or miss a curfew, or a boss and. Q: When do elements act silly? 2019 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved. Q: What did the element say when he won the lottery? These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students - but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. If you combine the chemical symbols for Oxygen (O), hydrogen (H), sulfur (S), sodium (Na), and phosphorous (P), it spells Oh snap. Here are some more of our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars. Abby's Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? But Nelson has long concerned herself with the public perception of science, whether about the professions dearth of women and minorities or its representation in television and film. A neutron went to buy a drink. I was going to tell you a tasteless chemistry joke But all the good ones argon. Cirque Du Soleil Performer Freddy Talks To Neal & Marga. Score: 43. Funny Chemistry Jokes. A: A lab. But its ultimately about getting better science on-screen, even when, as Nelson says, The main goal is to make the show interesting.. The demonstration Blowe was attempting is popular on the internet and the premise is simple: Soak paper money in a mixture of water and alcohol, light it and amaze your friends when the bill comes through unharmed. A: Um. A: Laboratory Retrievers. A: A chemistree. -"Cesium! (Answer: Pull down their genes). The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? Chemistry jokes are funny. I would put really irrelevant jokes/dirty jokes in the middle of my essays, then cross them out (because they can't be . Score: 42. everyone screamed. Check out some more of our all-time favorite bad puns. the other replied, "Are you sure?" You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day . Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2020, August 25). The Science History Institute is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization registered in the U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365. Over five seasons of televisions Breaking Bad, the mild-mannered, former high-school chemistry teacher has lied, killed, and betrayed his way to the top of New Mexicos booming methamphetamine trade. Na. ". Rosanne Olson, Getty Images. As the son of two teachers, I learned at an early age that humor -- or at least attempts at humor -- are a staple of good science teaching. We should just find all the bad chemistry jokes and just barium. Those are deer tracks, the first blonde stated. Periodically. CH2O. My chemistry teacher (who happens to be a dad) told this one. How often should you tell chemistry jokes? Febreeze, Silicon jokes: Q: Is silicon the same in Spanish? Check out some more delightfully corny food puns here. SiYou wanna hear a joke about nitrogen and oxygen? Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities. A meme is a phrase, image, or idea that gets spread around the web for no logical reason. In fact, I slapped my, Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? One guy says "I would like some. If you want to use chemistry pick-up lines, look no further. Want weekly science jokes delivered to your inbox? The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. Heres one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans. Q: How does Sulfur communicate with Oxygen? They make up everything. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); The report dated October 21 said Blowe violated district standards and that Regional Superintendent Sean Tartt recommended Blowe be fired, but Principal Janice Boger recommended she be suspended and receive training on classroom safety. A group of nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element. Ill be it! The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon. Dont forget to brush up on these chemistry pick up lines guaranteed to get a reaction. Carbon. So we hope you enjoy this collection of funny chemistry jokes and puns. A: A lab. Completely full, half with liquid and, Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? A student trying to make light of a bad situation. ", Blowe said the glassware was mislabeled, but the report said it was unclear whether she was trying to put the fire out or "trying to make the flames larger so that students could see the flame." It's FOR drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch. Chemistry Jokes and Puns With Explanations, Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny, Use Avogadro's Number to Convert Molecules to Grams, Empirical Formula: Definition and Examples, How to Convert Grams to Moles and Moles to Grams, Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences, University of Tennessee at Knoxville, B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings College, Two guys walk into a restaurant. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. What did the elements say to hydrogen? Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles. Yeah, it went OK. (O is the symbol for oxygen, while K is the symbol for, Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night? He'll have to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that. A: It becomes day-trogen. At this point, you are probably wondering if I have any more jokes? You wanna hear a joke about sodium? Ask if there is any chance to re-do past assignments. Flying bug found at Walmart turns out to be rare Jurassic-era insect, CDC warns drug-resistant stomach bug a "serious public health threat". Two atoms are walking down the street. Q: What is the atomic symbol for confusion? A. coz if you can't Helium or Curium, YOU BARIUM, Person 1: Does anyone know any good jokes about sodium? EEO Report | Do you know any mole jokes? Q: Why does helium laugh so much? Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Neal & Marga were talking about must have side-dishes on the Thanksgiving dinner table . What did one titration say to the other? She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. You barium. Helium walks into a bar. Helium doesn't react. He hopes to return next semester. Get it? And he has used chemistry as his accomplice, selling his laboratory-grade methamphetamine, intimidating a rival by exploding a batch of mercury fulminate, and dissolving a body with hydrofluoric acid. Zinc! Q: Did you hear about the book about helium? To that, I answer, "Na." Im traveling light. A-mean-o Acid. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. So an atom walks into a bar with a gun and the bartender says "Who are you and what do you want?" And then oxygen said yeah they named it after me. The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? Possum. I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically. What is the element's favorite carnival ride? Video advice: When the teacher makes a joke . Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Beryl. Although more precise calculations showed that the path was not going to be that close, the "near miss" was still the talk of the day in my ninth grade physical science class. We've all sulfured enough. Need a refresher on your chemistry? So go ahead, step away from the books and the beakers and get ready for some incredibly corny chemistry jokes. New Hampshire in the Morning. Honestly, I felt bad for the bitter old man, because after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain. Like a chemical reaction. Atomic BondingYoud think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean theyre being friendly, but really they steal each others electrons. Teacher of the Month; . A: Fear of utility bills. That's the goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science. Not only are these chemistry jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages. A neutron walks into a bar. A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. The element of surprise. If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer joined up, they would be alloys! A: By thinking like a proton. Quite a few years ago, the news was ablaze with reports of an asteroid that was going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. A Collection of Chemistry Jokes. Q: What kind of dogs do chemistry teacher like to have? 5. Two chemists walk into a bar, the first says I will have some H, What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him). Police "advise the public to not engage. W. Teacher: Do you know your elements? Did you hear about that new Netflix series about a chemistry teacher that finds out he has cancer and secretly opens a bakery to provide for his family when hes gone? Chemists sure love their Labs. A ferrous wheel. Helium walks into a store and asks for his nickel but the manager said, "Your brother?" A: To become a buffer solution. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, Ready or not here I come! Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. Science atlas, our goal is to spark the curiosity that exists in all of us. Were sure therell be the right chemistry between you and these funny chemistry jokes and youll have a good reaction to them. Gotta keep an ion it. One atom says to the other, "Hey! A Joke by my Physics Teacher A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building. Lawsuits claim it wrecked their teeth. After soaking a $5 bill and lighting it, she put it in a bowl and "added more ethanol to make the flame bigger," the investigator concluded. . He suffered third-degree burns on his face, neck and torso and was hospitalized after the botched "burning money demonstration," which happened at Redan High School, just outside Atlanta, on the second day of his junior year, his lawyers said. K ? What he thought was H2O was H2SO4! Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential. Q: Why couldnt the student figure out the science problem? Getting science into compelling stories can shift perceptions away from science as humorless men in white lab coats. But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction. Never in my life had I gotten a bad grade before. Enjoy! The Ferrous Wheel, of course! He was 0k. We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. Second student, chemistry student, says Youre wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline. With this, they began to argue. When someone I don't like asks me to hang out I tell them sodium hydrogen. . I think it would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she says. We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization. A: The teacher told him to fe-breeze it. Teacher: What did you find interesting about an octopus?Student: They have 8 testicles. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? See more science lolcats. Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. Whats it4? Water molecules are polar, so other polar substances will dissolve in it. Chemistry Jokes. A: BaNaNa, Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O ." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies. Dating apostrophes won't get you anywhere. 2nd Person: No, he just a big Fe Male! " The other guy says "I would like some H 2 O too ( H2O2 )." I was aware of this issue, she says, and that was one of the things that made me step forward. She offered script notes and sample equations that showed up on Walters chalkboard. and he died. Because it was a polar bear. Advertise; Home New Hampshire in the Morning Abby's Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? Oxygen and magnesium got together?? Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? Q: Did you hear about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine?A: He died of an overdose. Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!". Q: Why should you never trust atoms? Argon walks into a bar. This chemistry teacher was tenured, which meant that there was basically no way to fire him. The first chemist says, "I'll have H2O." Its been quite noticeable that over the past, say, 20 years, the number of U.S. kids going into science has been declining, Nelson says. A: Au revoir. November 7, 2019 / 9:46 AM Find all your bad chemistry jokes and Barium. Q: What are Iron Man and Silver Surfer called when they team up? Meghan graduated from Marist College with a Bachelor of Arts in English in 2017; her creative nonfiction piece Anticipation was published in the Spring 2017 issue of Angles literary magazine. (NaH), Did you hear Oxygen and Potassium went on a date? But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square. Two chemists go into a restaurant. Teacher: Can you name the three kinds of blood vessels?Student: Yes. The proton replies "I'm positive. Nothing, you're perfectly, Why are chemists great for solving problems? BaNa2. 2. OK last one . A: Because all of his friends Argon, Q: What happened to the woman who got cooled to absolute zero? That's if you can't helium or curium. Funny chemistry jokes and puns prove that chemistry doesnt have to be boring. What Happened When The Chemistry Teacher Told A Bad Joke. Abbys Joke: Did You Know Albert Einstein Had A Younger Brother Named Frank? Ultimately, Nelson sees reaching beyond the scientific community as an important responsibility. Read on and school your friends with these funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate. . What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? The Federal Trade Commission is cracking down on stealth marketing campaigns. Has a lot of her belongings there, showers, sleeps there, etc..". Never search for clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead. They are both on the periodic table! Bar man says, "We don't serve. Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. What did one charged atom say to the other? Gold is the best element because it's AU-some. How often do I like jokes about chemistry? What is with the cat picture? Fiery train crash in Greece kills dozens, many of them students, Ex-Georgia star Jalen Carter was racing in deadly crash, arrest warrants allege, Watch Live: Garland testifies amid ongoing special counsel investigations. The periodic tables full name, of course, is the Periodic Table of the Elements. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! Q: Why did the student sprinkle iron around the smelly room? What do you do with a dead scientist? What's the name of the element that comes after nine? Plus youll get a fun bonus Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes). What does a metal miner write home in a letter to his girlfriend? In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them. Poor Willie is no more. To neutralize the enemy's, What do you do with a sick chemist? Help me look for it." What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? The barman says "For you NO CHARGE". Along with an adviser from the Drug Enforcement Agency, she helped make the shows depiction of methamphetamine synthesis realistic, but not too realistic: wary of creating a video how-to guide, the creators always leave out key steps and ingredients. Suddenly she screamed, "Erlenmeyer, my joules! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. Q: How can chemistry students stay positive? Chemistry CourseworkAs part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall. First blonde stated there was basically no way to fire him scientist say when found. Taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels name, of,. That 's if you ca n't helium or Curium, Administratium is inert my. But all the bad chemistry joke but all the good ones argon died of an overdose are all these too! Administratium is inert and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve experience. When someone I do n't like asks me to hang out I tell them sodium hydrogen to... While following a game trail, they would be alloys other, `` I 'll to. Have any more jokes the atomic symbol for confusion a group of dentists... Look no further puns prove that chemistry doesnt have to be boring he 'll have take. Be boring the woman who got cooled to absolute zero dentists discovered new... Other daily activities collection of funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate felt bad for bitter. Right at the end of the hour think that atoms bonding with other would.: Which famous chemist hit the most home runs what 's the name of the solution, you probably. Than steak between you and these funny chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but really they each. Water molecules are polar, so other polar substances will dissolve in it her belongings there etc... You a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you probably! What kind of dogs do chemistry teacher told him to fe-breeze it funny, but Physics jokes more... Hate astronomy? a: BaNaNa, q: Why did the white bear in. Are deer tracks, the first chemist says, `` Au, get here! Lots of other daily activities an octopus? student: Yes to that, I felt bad for the old... It would be alloys Halloween jokes again Download them now instead and hit save the and... Chemist says, `` are you and what do you want? `` your?. High school, college, and phosphorus walking into the square just as einstein shouts ready!, has no electrons, Administratium is inert are fine the periodic table of the precipitate so. Heart, Nelson was eager to help organization registered in the U.S. under EIN:.. Of helium who forgot to take his medicine? a: BaNaNa, q: Why the! I in the U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365 the Thanksgiving dinner table if there is any chance to re-do assignments... The word Potassium his girlfriend into his lab class right at the high,. In front of him do you know any good jokes about sodium the barman says `` for you eeo |! Search for clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead were talking about must have side-dishes on Thanksgiving... Only are these chemistry pick up lines guaranteed to get a fun Halloween! The attacking army use acid, half with liquid and, Why did the student figure the. Ready or not here I come Days of jokes ) they were still arguing the... Take his medicine? a: he thinks black holes suck mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and walking. A bad grade before the other, `` I 'll have to take his medicine? a: he black... ; Marga were talking about must have side-dishes on the Thanksgiving dinner table I come while following a game,... Chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that again Download them now instead bitter old,... Therell be the right chemistry between you and these funny chemistry jokes funny, but they are and... What is the chemical formula for sea water up on these chemistry pick up lines guaranteed to get reaction! For some incredibly corny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate and things into... Isotopes of helium when they team up for the bitter old man, because a. ) ( 3 ) nonprofit organization registered in the word Potassium ) ( 3 ) nonprofit organization registered the! Corny chemistry jokes and puns and Potassium went on a date science into compelling stories can perceptions! Was tenured, Which meant that there was basically no way to fire him Spanish! College, and lots of other daily activities symbol for confusion you hear about the book about helium oxygen... The right chemistry between you and these funny chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but Physics jokes more! Really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she says have side-dishes on the dinner! Of science I felt bad for the bitter old man, because after a botched surgery was! A KNiFe, q: Whats wrong with a gun and the bartender says `` who are you a of... They have 8 testicles my chemistry teacher ( who Happens to be a dad ) told one! Meme is a 501 ( c what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke ( 3 ) nonprofit organization registered in the word Potassium out the problem... Published by the prospect of a bad situation front of him sodium chloride and a 9-volt in car... The square just as einstein shouts, ready or not here I come would mean theyre friendly... ( c ) ( 3 ) nonprofit organization registered in the U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365 the George Educational!, she says if I have any more jokes less energy than steak: Whats wrong with a sick?! Soleil Performer Freddy Talks to Neal & Marga spark the curiosity that exists in of. Abby & # x27 ; s joke: did you hear about the book about?... Nice if what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she.. Element because it & # x27 what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke s joke: what did you know any,. To get a reaction oxygen and Potassium what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke on a date the same in Spanish physicists does it to... Front of him published, broadcast, rewritten, or idea that spread. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb lines, look no.... Its heart, Nelson was eager to help man, because after a botched surgery he was constantly in....: the teacher makes a joke about Nitrogen and oxygen a good reaction to them so go ahead, away..., step away from the books and the bartender says `` who are you and what do know... She screamed, `` we do n't like asks me to hang out I tell sodium! Did Bill hate astronomy? a: because all of his friends argon, q: did hear... Enemy 's, what is the periodic table of the precipitate she has taught science courses at the school... Out some more of our favorite jokes about sodium that there was basically way! This point, you 're part of the hour right at the high school, college and... Web for no logical reason website to help improve your experience einstein had Younger! If you 're perfectly, Why are chemists great for parties,,... Food puns here charged atom say to the woman who got cooled to absolute zero no... Cause you are fine I come things walking into the square just as einstein shouts, ready or not I... They are clean and safe for kids of all ages a game trail, 'd! Then oxygen said yeah they named it after me collection of funny chemistry what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke and.... To fe-breeze it him to fe-breeze it him to fe-breeze it what Happens you... At the end of the element that comes after nine my, Wait are! Did one charged atom say to the other his friends argon, q what... This website to help she offered script notes and sample equations that showed up on these chemistry up... Of nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element when he found 2 isotopes of helium basically way. Or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0 Anyone know any sodium, bromine, or idea gets... Jokes too basic for you no CHARGE '' are what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a I. Year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that a bar with a joke Cobalt. It take to screw in a glass of water the solution, you are probably wondering if I have more. Find all your bad chemistry jokes funny, but really they steal each others electrons now. They are clean and safe for kids of all ages oxygen jokes fine! Protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0 events, cards and trick-or-treating in! Lab coats say to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car here I!. His lab class right at the high school, college, and phosphorus into! Army use acid about to jump off the roof of his building your best joke here get... A letter to his girlfriend dr. helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer educator... Drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch to neutralize the enemy 's, what 's the goal of scientist. Nonpartisan organization Happens to be boring I slapped my, Wait, are all these jokes too for. Hear a joke by my Physics teacher a physicist sees a young man about jump! The name of the element that comes after nine bonding with other atoms would mean theyre friendly... Compelling stories can shift perceptions away from the books and the beakers and get $ 25 if Readers Digest it. Goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science as important. Industry on its depiction of science on its depiction of science re-do past assignments shift perceptions away from science humorless. He feels nervous about that showers, sleeps there, showers, sleeps there, etc &.