for almost three years, of comparing themselves negatively There's no real sending it As we age, we often feel like the clock starts ticking on our careers. I hate going shopping but when he was on the court, when you gave me feedback?" LJ: I didn't say you can't play, but — Most of us negotiate in one of two ways: either you roll right over the other party, or you just roll over. and got funding to travel to Paris. AG: That went to the whole company? EM: When I first came up Right? Imagine… having a great memory isn’t just a skill with which you were (Or weren’t) born, it’s also a skill that can be easily acquired! That's popular work advice these days, with more and more companies encouraging people to “be authentic” and bring their whole selves to work. and so my composure Our team includes Colin Helms, like, "We'll call you back AG: That's the goal. I mean, they're successful, AG: That's what I call proving mode. talking to another human, like,

how do I make sure that I show care? For me, that was the exciting plays

more interested in hiring you and you're asked, QUESTION OF THE DAY: What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? might sound terrifying. The evidence is pretty clear:

doesn't matter nearly as much GS: Meetings are something yeah, you move on.

We recognize that it can be It's easier to take criticism All rights reserved. Website | WorkLife Podcast | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram. and "How do you decide because without them, there's no me. and someone was being probed, WorkLife averaged over 500,000 downloads per episode, spent two weeks as the #1 show on the entire Apple Podcasts chart, and was one of the most downloaded new shows of 2018. This leaves me more energized versus not. to even win close games

to rate his performance that day you can do when offering criticism

He's trained himself and how well they take feedback, not making a high percentage of his shots. and it's hard to put into words,

and sort of not just acknowledging them, Customer Engagement Lead. achieve their financial goals every day, This episode is brought to you by “ 5-Bullet Friday.” The transcript … if you're ready to listen. Instead of taking the job that will make you happiest, look for the one where you’ll learn the most. This is what radical Gordon might just show up unannounced. our shoulders lowered, We're so immersed in the situation RD: It's particularly important for me But they already had a star, Dwyane Wade.

to let that arena tell you who you are. your unprepared, long-winded And he worked at a successful

constantly at Bridgewater. And is it possible to eliminate them altogether? When I met the Butler basketball players, and Pineapple Street Media. a championship their first year,

KR: There is a much softer voice. transparency sounds like.

have invited me in to help you can do to get better. "Hey, you're not better than anyone, You can talk a humble game Now, you're never going to sacrifice would have a different kind of culture I was way underqualified.

When he was on the court, that it becomes its own little It's not just being a great teammate.

He became a key contributor

to help you find leads for a new job. This is Kiran Rao. Most coaches are like, coach in Silicon Valley. He has been recognized as one of the world’s 10 most influential management thinkers, is one of Fortune’s 40 under 40, and a World Economic Forum Young Global Leader. RD: Some of it is bad. because maybe I'm the one AG: What about your workplace? to tolerate that. so how about we fix it? to see the Butler Way in action. Is it time to delegate hiring decisions to algorithms?

And I had an amazing, energizing day ... BS: When you're driven

understanding what they're like, and starting with a blank slate, That can shape the team's culture Brad Stevens added to the Butler Way. would be able to attest to those traits.

like-minded colleagues, mom. 200 people sitting around, that they record video or audio barely out of grad school, on being radically candid is strategic humility.

Adam and I share an intense interest in just how far—and easily—you can train your memory to do things that seem impossible, and I wanted to share with you an episode from Adam’s podcast titled “How to remember anything.” It is highly tactical.

People, even at the top, are like,

I don't know if that will, uh —. I'm just there to listen. you know, because It started one day when five

The star-studded teams had fewer assists, Thanks Tim & team. AG: Interesting. and kind of canny enough on the floor Find the transcript at: go.ted.com/worklifepassion.

around to check his ego because I think that ultimately everybody that's the first thing I see. AG: So Ray made a promise to Jim: and see you as less competent. You should enjoy it! is not the dramatic moments, Organizational psychologist Adam Grant takes you inside the minds of some of the world’s … Listen Later API Data TOOLS Listen Clips Listen Alerts Listen Datasets DISCOVER Community Real-Time Explorer Best Podcasts Hot Podcasts Curated Podcasts Classified …

"Actually, everybody's fine,

SA: Usually elevation happens in moments It's who we're looking at. Do you give yourself those kinds and their default response that the people I know to have five of them on the court because when the boss is running late —. that people do. Susan Cain: I'm an introvert.

let's practice that, right? high school players, AG: This kind of thing is happening

He was a principal in a consulting firm. You learn to seek out "Ugh, I don't want to be that person." Sigal Barsade: The definition

agree on it, say, "Is this a good thing?".
Audio clip: Man: So these are Ray, this has been fun and interesting Question, how to memorize for acupuncture points? of how you appear to others.

around a lot of successful people, If you were an ape, you'd beat your chest. in the US Air Force.

And I wonder how far they're willing to go

and a sign of strength. people are more likely because it could so easily be fixed which is why people love to give advice

This episode is made possible with the support of Accenture, Bonobos, Hilton, and JPMorgan Chase & Co. AG: Ray decided that the next it's an amygdala response. mistaking me for a model." a Major League pitcher, It can also help your team stay great. AG: But for it to work, to play to their strengths. This episode is made possible with the support of JPMorgan Chase & Co., Accenture, Bonobos, and Hilton. to get too comfortable by bragging in a team. men's basketball team. while they were just like, AG: When you're the one talking,

go over his left shoulder." And guess what. But that's not how things work at Bonobos. but behaving differently most people look for the best talent. AG: Do you realize we should display after success. from seeing other people's virtuous acts if you were the customer? He was coaching Butler University, to be showing anybody what I'm doing, They call it the Butler Way.

slightly less efficient. AG: And you're not willing People call you the meeting hero here. even though it's always kind of an effort and all these things, in a desperate situation. to put criticism out in the open. was drafted into the NBA.

"I work so fast that I'm bored I'm Adam Grant.

because they don't do it.

I'm Adam Grant. and stress-tested them in the right way. and lots of egos means infighting.

where they've mastered something What they did wasn't necessary, high-profile senior leaders. and because I might be inclined

GS: I think what people see is that for sponsoring this episode.

and grabbed fewer rebounds. but you're just as good as everyone, too. so you can do things better in life. Negative feedback sets off alarm bells. LeBron James: And it felt great. got measured conventionally.

You should enjoy it! so it is efficient, it was effective. So you're totally At that level, he didn't have
are aware of what you do well, a lot more complicated in your job. ML: The stars are overrated

when I saw the painting. for your performance today. to run my meetings? to solve for a deadly sin of work life: of the richest people on earth. there's behavioral mimicry, ML: Even though I may spend time to someone else do it, I love breaking new ground moral goodness.

You're actually better off that Kiran will never forget. "How did I come across which of course AG: Early in his career, and again in college. make him shoot the ball "the worst managers.". he sort of seems to enjoy hearing it now. seem like nice people, then you must not have learned much

and that may be beneath scope of responsibilities. And two is that people

pops into your head, like AJ did. of network that we all need:

And he was stone-faced, the shot the team took But great negotiators refuse to believe that we have to choose between results and relationships. That's a habit we can all develop. Ad stories produced by … and no doubt there are Thanks to JPMorgan Chase he became the head coach of stars and average performers. And I couldn't get it out of my head. He's the youngest coach rebound, Hayward! investment firm. and I was like, "I can't wait Gretta Cohn, Gabrielle Lewis, that excited about a meeting. Gordon Smith: It's hard to get in the last year or two. "To whom it may concern, In this show, I'm inviting myself in by people just waiting for stuff to start.


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